March is difficult.
It's a month of neither here, nor there. It's not really winter, nor yet is it spring. The temperatures fluctuate wildly. One week I have my washing out on the line, the next I have it hanging in the basement as the snow falls in thick, blanketing flakes.
I feel fuggish...which feels something like a combination of foggy and sluggish. I want to say that I just made the word up, but it may very well already exist. The internet is a busy, crowded place and I may have overheard it in someone elses conversation. I suspect that my fuggishness has much to do with my shocking eating habits of late; my compulsive consumption of tea and my newly resurrected love of baking. I've resolved to no longer eat fruits and vegetables out of season* and so find myself with nearly-rabid craving for greens. When spring does finally emerge here, I'll be the one on my hands and knees gnawing on the dandelions. I'm also not sleeping very well -- restless and wakeful. Sleep used to be one of my super-powers so you can imagine my disappointment at this turn of events.
The Cooper's hawk claimed another of our Ladies. We took the remains and left it for the ravens. One part offering, one part supplication. The hawk is small and hides easily in the trees. I've taken to watching the behaviour of the wild birds and the squirrels. When it goes quiet, it's time to investigate.
We almost had three ducks and a livestock guardian dog. I let the opportunities pass us by, knowing I didn't have the mental or emotional bandwidth to care for more creatures just now. It was a relief, actually, to say 'no' and mean it.
I tell myself I ought to be starting some seeds by now, but I can't seem to summon the energy. Everything requires energy. Some days I have lots, but other days....well, other days I curl up with the dog and a book and a steaming cup of tea. I think of all the things I have to do - like the taxes and cleaning out the garage after 'hosting' the hens in it all winter long - and I put the kettle on and order more books from the library.
Despite how it sounds, I'm actually taking pretty good care of myself just now. It's just that it's March....
*rest assured, I'm taking supplements to off-set scurvy etc. :)